Day 20 -- Food Journal

I'm really struggling these days. I know stress triggers my desire to overeat and eat junk food. I've been doing better than expected. Maintaining this blog and reading inspirational tweets have really been helping me. I also have been diligent about my daily spiritual practice. Despite all this, right now I want to rush out and buy a box of Crunch and Munch or a piece of cake!

I haven't worked out in two days because I haven't had the energy. I haven't been sleeping well. I have to admit I'm experiencing some depression. I know it is to be expected while going through this transition. Thankfully, I had a good night's rest last night so I will be able to get in a nice, gentle workout. I'm thinking I'll do some yoga later on today.

On a positive note, although I haven't lost any weight, I haven't gained any either.


Breakfast

Oatmeal
Coffee and water

Lunch

Salad (tomato, black beans, black olives), chicken
Water

Dinner

Chicken wrap

Awesome August Workout #17 - yoga

Overeaters Anonymous/Therapy - All day today I have been thinking about junk food. I knew I had to go out for dishwashing soap. I waited and waited until I felt I was in a good space before going to the store. Well, I ended up putting a box of Crunch and Munch AND a piece of cake. I walked around that store trying to convince myself to remove the items from my cart. I didn't. On my drive home, I told myself to throw them in the trash somewhere. I didn't. When I pulled up in the garage, I told myself to put the in the trash before going into the house. I didn't.

I ate a whole family size box of Crunch and Munch. All the stress, anxiety, sadness, and anger from my break up disappeared. I felt both better and yucky at the same time.

I cannot do this on my own. Last night I attended an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Even though I'm not sure it's the venue for me, I could relate to a lot of the things that were share. After the meeting, I ate the piece of cake. I attended another meeting hours later. I even worked up the courage to share a bit.

Monday I plan to call a therapist. My employer offers eight free therapy sessions through our insurance. Even though my friends (who are ministers and life coaches) have been very supportive, I think I could use a neutral ear. It's getting to the point that I feel self-conscious about sharing my thoughts and feelings with them. I know it's more about me than them. They have all been wonderful.