You Look Marvelous

The mind. Tonight I ran into someone I haven't seen in years. She noticed my weight loss and for a moment I felt uncomfortable. What was that all about?

Is it because my health issues, my weight issues, my eating issues have been my "private" issues that I feel my fitness journey and lifestyle change are also my "private" issues?

This reminds me of something I haven't written about yet. My 5K pics. On some of my pictures I notice I avoided looking straight into the camera. I also didn't even turn fully in front of the camera. It made me think that I am constantly hiding.

One of my aims with this blog is transparency. I'll keep plugging along with this goal.

I was uncomfortable for a moment when Hattie noticed my weight loss. I noticed it and moved on to pride. I have worked hard. It felt good to be recognized. It also reinforced my efforts. There are days I think all this effort is in vain. I look in the mirror and I don't see it. I come across other blogs and see that others have lost far more weight. I am excited for them yet I think why is it taking me so long. Then I have to put myself in check. Stop comparing, Sheila! This is not a race. This is a journey. Enjoy the experience.

I have to admit that in the back of my mind I think about those people who have been told they changed when they lose weight. I don't want to be like that. Although, I know I will be different because I feel the shift already. Is there a way to lose a tremendous amount of weight and remain the same person? I don't think so. Yes, the essence of who you are remains intact. However, all the layers, literally, that you have used to hide and cover yourself are peeled away. There's a certain level of confidence that builds. There's also the energy level.

For instance, I was feeling pretty bad earlier. Most of this is due to the meds from dental surgery. Anyhow, now that I have exercised, I feel so much better. As much as I dreaded moving today, it was the best thing I could have done for myself.

My initial point was that I have a lot of mental stuff to work on as well.