Over the years I have learned that fitness is a lifestyle, not to regard it as a chore. I am not so sure I have learned my lesson. I have not exercised at all this week. I have been overcome with grief and insomnia. A dear coworker and friend passed away. I think I could have used all my anger and sadness as fuel for my workouts. Running is great therapy, right? If it hadn’t been for all the sleepless nights and not eating, I could have done it.
I felt a little better today. I’ve had my pity party. I am sad for myself. My friend was in a lot of (emotional) pain. I pray he is now at peace. I know he would be the first to tell me to get back to living my life. In fact, we talked about his passing after a previous incident. I am glad I was able to tell him just how much I cared about him. I told him I would be devastated. I am angry with him for being so selfish and not considering his family and friends; yet I know I am being selfish because he just couldn’t take the pain any longer. He didn’t see a way out. I reached out but he couldn’t, wouldn’t reach back.
I have mourned him and now it is time to get back to life. I still remember him telling me how proud and impressed he was with my weight loss and exercise. So, hopefully I will get a good night rest. If not, I know I will be able to sleep in. Whatever happens, I do plan to go running some time tomorrow. Unfortunately, rain is on its way. Hopefully, the storm will pass us. If not, I will have to tough it out and hop on the treadmill next week. I cannot afford to miss anymore workout time. I have exactly 22 days until my 5K. I need to eat clean, hydrate, and rest. The best way to deal with this grief is to work it out!
5 months ago