I've spent the past two days at the Urologist's office because I'm still having trouble emptying my bladder. The cramps and spasms have subsided but the frequency and the urge to go are still strong.
So, Tuesday I go in and he tells me the next course of action is to try self-catheterization. I am not a happy camper. I'm all upset and stressed. The poor assistant is trying her best to teach me to insert this thing. Looking back, it was hilarious. At the time, I was devastated. We finally get it in and nothing happens. No urine. She scans my bladder again, the results say my bladder is full, but nothing is happening. The doctor comes in, checks and said it's in correctly. After several more tries, (and apparently the doctor had words with her) he decides it not going to work. He's baffled. He doesn't understand why my bladder is full yet not emptying. I'm told to come back tomorrow for more tests. I'm scheduled for a CT Scan, a Cystometry, and a Cystoscopy
The next day I come and have the CT Scan. The doctor comes in asking me all these questions about my hysterectomy. He then tells me the CT Scan shows something next to my bladder. All sorts of stuff starts going through my head. The night before Crystal jokes that maybe the doctor left something inside me after my surgery four years ago. Now, He going to skip the cystometry and do the cystoscopy to have a look. Bingo! There's a HUGE sac of fluid, a cyst?, next to my bladder. It's three times the size of my bladder. The doctor apologizes to his assistant. He said this is what she was seeing on the bladder scanner. Apparently he gave her a hard time yesterday. Now what?
Well, I have to have surgery. Because of my other medical issues, I need to get medical clearance from my general doctor. I have an appointment with her on Friday.
I've been through so many emotions during the past two days. I'm so relieved I finally know what's going on with my body. I'm looking at the bright side that it could have been worst. I'm glad it's not cancer. Yet, I have to do honest that I'm very disappointed. I've been working so hard on my health and fitness goals. I feel that this is a real setback. Right now I just need to acknowledge these feelings and then move on. I talked to my trainer about it. I don't want to lose all the progress I made. I know how hard it was to start walking even. My goal was to start jogging by the end of this year. Plus, I'm long overdue to start training for the stairclimbing event in April. I'm also concerned about my other health goals. Having diabetes and having surgery is tricky. I'm healthier than last time so I'm confident I will heal a lot quicker. I made an appointment to talk to my Endocrinologist . I realize I'm jumping so far ahead. I need to stay in this present moment and deal with what is going on right now.
So, my focus is going to switch for a while. I also need to begin preparing myself for surgery physically, mentally, and spiritually.
5 months ago