Where, oh, where to begin?
I've been experiencing painful urination for about two weeks now. I thought it was kidney stones; others were saying UTI. Well, I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm having bladder spasms. I'm not emptying my bladder completely. I have this constant urge to go to the bathroom.
So, the doctor gives me this medication (UTA tablets) that have turned my urine this radioactive green. I am sooooo miserable.
I cancel my training session today and Kimberly rips into me. If you don't feel like working out, Sheila, just tell me! (I cancelled last Monday because I wasn't feeling well.) She goes on and on about consistency, blah, blah, blah...I tuned out. I was pissed. I'm not lying! I don't feel well! I know I'm feeling very vulnerable and sensitive and down right now so I tried not to react and take out my frustrations on her. I listened and said see you on Monday. I know she's just doing her job.
It looks like I'm not going to be able to participate in my first fitness event. As much as I was anxious about it, I am now pretty bummed about it. I'm supposed to do the Polar Bear 5K on Saturday. Heck, I have to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. This medication is making me groggy.
Have I whined enough yet? Lol!
What else? My relationship is on the rocks. At first I was okay with it. Now, the reality of being separated is sinking in. It's been three weeks.
The bright side in all this is that I know stress is one of my triggers. So far, I haven't resorting to eating away my emotions. I have been focusing on prayer, meditation, and working out when I can.
Today I was thinking of a song we used to sing in church. I don't remember all the words but I do remember the line - these trials come to make me strong.
I am strong! I will get through this. I am not going to let a few little trivial obstacles knock me off my path.
-Who cares if Kimberly thought I was lying?
-There will be plenty of 5Ks to walk!
-If my relationship is over, so be it.
Okay, my pity party is over.
3 months ago