Peachtree Road Race: What I Learned

Now that I have completed my dream race, I have been thinking about my next running goal. I know I will never be a fast runner. I do know that running consistently will help increase my pace. So, one of my goals is just to continue running and improving my time and pace.

My three takeaways from Peachtree/my first 10k are:

1. Trust my training – As long as I follow my training plan, I will be fine. I was very surprised how well I did. I really did expect to feel much worse than I did. I am sure that some of this had to do with my slow walk to the finish line. I started my training early. This will be my plan of action for my next 10k.
2. Pay better attention to the road – This should really be my number one lesson. There is no way I should have stepped in the puddle of water. I was so distracted trying to avoid the water spray that I wasn’t paying attention to where I was placing my feet. I could have injured myself.
3. Run my own race – Although I did a great job of this on the road, I was so worried before the race. I need to just focus on me and what I am doing. I think this will come with more experience in races.

Part of the hidden curriculum was the support that I received from all my family and friends. When I first started sharing that I wanted to become a runner, I was meant with some discouragement. I know many doubted me. As a result, I have learned not to share my running dreams and goals with everyone.

Run, Rest, Repeat

Starting to feel very anxious during these last week before the Peachtree Road Race. I felt really tired on Wednesday. On top of that my left ankle was bothering me a bit. Even though it was National Running Day, I decided the only way I was going to participate was to read my latest edition of Runner's World. I even had to avoid social media because I was felt conflicted about not pushing myself to go out for a run.

I ended up going for a quick 20-minute walk. The next day I was still feeling pretty run down. A huge part of me wanted to push through the fatigue. I decided I needed another day to give my body, especially my ankle a rest. I reminded myself that rest and recovery is a very vital part of training. I'm so glad I did.

I just returned from completing Week 12, Day 1 (run 18 minutes, three times). It felt pretty great. I kept checking in with my body and I felt like I had another mile or so in me. This is a good thing. I am no where near 6.2 miles. I know if I keep up with this pace and listen to my body I will finish without feeling totally wiped out.

I am slowly, but surely learning that resting is just as important as running. The problem is knowing when I actually need rest and when I am just being plain lazy. I will continue praying for this wisdom and trusting the process.

There's no such thing as a bad workout?

Today was not a good day. I have been doing so well on my Couch to 10k workouts. I cannot remember the last time I needed to repeat a day. Well, today was one of those days. I decided to run at Wills Park. It's usually my spot to do my walks because there are inclines. I can walk 2.5 loops with no problem. Running is another story.

I couldn't finish the last 10 minutes. It's okay. This lets me know I still have a lot of work to do. The Peachtree Road Race course has inclines and hills. I need to be prepared for them. I am going to start running at Wills Park more often. I tried my best not to compare myself to others out on the path. I reminded myself to just run my race and remind myself of how far I have come.

Once I stopped this pity party, I was okay. I'm prepared to give it another try! I will get to the point where I can run around that loop nonstop!

Weigh-In Wednesday

It’s the first weigh-in of 2014 and I’m down three pounds! I have to be honest with myself. I heard that negative, scolding voice reminding me that although I lost three pounds it is weight I gained the last four months of 2013. I acknowledge what happened in the past but I am focusing on the present. I am planning for the future but taking it one day at a time.

While I am happy about the loss, I have to prepare myself mentally for the times the scale does not move. This is how the weight started creeping back in the first place. I was working my butt off and the scale wasn’t moving. So what do I do? I get discouraged and stop tracking my food. I will not make this mistake again.

My goal is to track my food intake every day this year. In fact, I have logged my food on My Fitness Pal for at least 30 days. I think the longest I’ve consistently tracked was 40 days. At this point in my journey, everything is mental. I know I can work out. I’ve completed the Couch to 5K program – twice. I know I can run. I’ve taken swimming lessons. I know I can swim.

My area of opportunity is my food. I haven’t completely given up on OA but I am not working my program the way I used to. I no longer have a sponsor, although I am in contact with her at least three or four days out of the week. I do embrace the spirit of OA that my eating/food issues are not about food and I do not need a diet.

I will continue working on my mind, spirit and body and this will help with the weight loss. It’s my state of mind that needs healing. I have to keep that number on the scale in perspective. I also did my measurements and check my body fat. As long as I am doing what I need, what I want to do to take care of myself, I will be fine.

Big Pumpkin 5K

Well it's over! I am going to be honest and say I am disappointed in my performance:


Sheila,
Your 5K time was 58:11

Your pace was 18:46/M

You were number 945 overall

You were number 43 of 45 in your age group 50-54


I have to take a step back and be very grateful that I was able to complete the race. I also have to take into consideration the course was changed at the last minute. The original course was mostly flat. I'm glad they at least made an announcement that the course had been changed. My takeaway from this is to be prepared for whatever comes. This is the second time I've experienced a course being changed. I am glad that the race is still a Peachtree Road Race qualifier. So, for the Turkey Trot, I will be working on hills more often.

It was very hard for me to stay focused on my race. I kept wanting to push myself much too soon. I started to panic before the first mile. It was clear from the very beginning I was going to be at the back of the pack. Before we completed the first half mile, there was a steep hill. I reminded myself to forget about my time and just work on running as much as possible. I also reminded myself that there was no shame in walking. Although I was disappointed in myself for walking up those hills, I am proud of myself for giving it my best shot.

So, between now and Thanksgiving Day, I will be working on my aversion to hills.

Trust the Process Revisted

Whoa! It’s not even noon and I’ve had a full day. I have so many thoughts racing in my head right now. After writing, I’m going to do some meditating….

I had my quarter doctor’s visit this morning. I was really nervous. My workouts have been inconsistent. I haven’t been feeling my best. My food has been okay but I feel I could have done better. I was so nervous about seeing those numbers I almost cancelled my appointment.

Results: I’m two pounds down since my last appointment. I admit I was disappointed. I was also shocked. I was convinced I had gained weight. My blood pressure was the lowest it’s been in years – 102/68! I can’t believe it! Next, my A1c – 6.0. My doctor is pleased. It’s been pretty steady – as far as she is concerned, my diet is on point. Of course, in my dis-eased mind, I want the number to be below 6.0. My cholesterol is good. I can’t remember the numbers and I forgot to ask for a copy of my results. I plan to stop by the office later today or tomorrow to get them.

Finally, my TSH – it has gone up from 2.3 to 3.8. Whoa! So this is what has been going on with my fatigue and inability to drop some pounds. I have no idea what’s going on with my thyroid. My doctor is increasing my Synthroid. Hopefully we can get my thyroid level back where it needs to be. This is going to help my energy level and improve my workout performance and results. My doctor was quick to remind me that when I started on this journey my TSH was over 4. It will be okay. Trust the process.
So, on the way home I really had to take a hard look at myself. How many times am I going to have to relearn the lesson of trusting the process? My doctor has no complaints about my health. She isn’t even worried about my weight. She said I am obviously doing something right because my lab results give her an accurate picture of how I have been eating and exercising. She advised me to just keep doing what I am doing. I am the healthiest I have been in years. Why can’t I just accept this? Sigh....

**
After my doctor’s appointment, I headed straight for the Greenway. Since I had to cut my run short on Monday, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to run the entire 3.1 miles. Yesterday I spent time stretching and making sure I drank enough water. I felt pretty good today. In fact, when I did my body checks, I realized I felt better than thought. I really have to do my best to listen to my body instead of my thoughts.

This is my lesson for today: My thoughts can be very deceptive. I cannot always trust what I am thinking. I have an eating plan. I have a training plan. If I can just stay focused on my plans, the results will take care of themselves. Trust the process!

Challenges

It's been a while....

Lately I have been consumed with challenges. Yesterday I finally completed the 30-Day Squat Challenge. I am so proud of myself because this was my second attempt at this challenge. My intention from this challenge, besides learning how to do squats with proper form, was to develop consistency in my fitness routine. I am very grateful for the willingness to complete this challenge.

Another challenge I've had is with the scale. I have gained 10 pounds! At first I wasn't that worried when the scale was moving up because my clothes size has moved down. I'm still getting comments about looking great. I had lunch with a friend a few days ago and she said my face looks slimmer. I don't know. My eating and portion control has been okay yet I had to admit I have been indulging in way too many yogurt pretzels. The bottom line is that I am motivated by numbers. I still want to see a certain number on the scale. Sigh....

I have also had a challenging time listening to my body. Last week I was supposed to do a 5K. The truth is I was in no position to run. Beside not training, I needed to give my knee a break. I want to run but my body is saying not now. The challenge has been keeping my ego in check.

Tomorrow I am started a 30-day yoga challenge. I have seen a number of yoga challenges. I have decided to take what I like and create my own challenge. My intention is three-fold: integrating mind, body, and spirit into my fitness journey. I believe for the most part I do this. However, completing this challenge is also about focus and consistency.

In addition to yoga, I will be drinking a gallon of lemon water, meditating for at least 30 minutes, and reading 10 pages from The Art of Happiness each day. I am also thinking about blogging/journaling each day but I'm not sure.

Boston Marathon

I watched the Boston Marathon today. It was a great reminder that we never know how a story is going to end. It pays to take one moment at a time. Prayers for the runners, spectators, and first responders.

Week Five - Weigh In

I’m down another pound! I have so many emotions about losing that one pound. Why is it so darn hard? I want big numbers! So easy to put on and so hard to take off! My biggest danger right now is comparing myself to others. More than anything I feel a sense of gratitude and humility. I started this journey in 2009 and these last 50 pounds have been so difficult to release. I am now wondering if it’s symbolic of something in my consciousness that I am also holding onto. Well, I’m bound and determine to work on whatever it is. I want to be free of this excess weight!

Thursday’s Spin class was so hard. My body couldn’t do what my mind wanted it to do. I felt so defeated and discouraged. After class, I sat in my car and had one of those The Biggest Loser’s cries. When I first started watching that show, I didn’t understand why anyone would start crying over a workout. Now, I do it all the time. It’s a great emotional cleanse.

I’m tweaking my food plan a bit. The plan is to continue adding fruits and veggies. I also need to start eating less popcorn. I eat popcorn almost every day. I’m starting to think it feeds into my compulsive eating habits. I’m going to have a conversation with my OA sponsor later on today about it.

I started Couch to 5K yesterday. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I’ve been using the cold weather as an excuse not to run because I hate running on the treadmill. I need to stop with the excuses!

September Update

Not much going on.  Two weeks ago I decided to push it a bit and start walking four miles.  Now, my knee is starting to bother me again.  I've been stretching and icing and praying. 

My endurance is great!  I just need to see what's going on with my knee!  I've been paying attention to my gait.  I have the right shoes.

So....I'm back to the doctor next week. 

***

My birthday was Monday.  I did most of my celebrating over the weekend because I wanted to spend a quiet, reflective day alone.  It was wonderful.  I spent the entire day at Jeju Spa.

It may have been a little mistake because now I am quite dehydrated.  Saturday I had a birthday lunch of fajitas, margaritas, and a shot.  I was determined.  I went to the park and walked four miles before going out to the movies.  Sunday a did a little more drinking.  I should have been doing a better job with my hydration considering all the walking and drinking I was doing.

Bottom line...I had fun but my body is paying for it.  It felt great to sit and meditate while detoxing.  It's been a challenging and wonderful year. 

***

So I decided to look up what Louise Hay had to say about knees.

Knee problems - Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won't give in. "Forgiveness. Understanding. Compassion. I bend and flow with ease, and all is well."


Sounds just right.  So, I had to swallow my pride and admit I made a mistake about something and did something I really didn't want to do.  While my action is justified, I still feel awkward about it.  However, I am accepting life on life's term.  Hopefully, now that I've moved forward, so to speak.  My knee will begin to feel better.  I really want to get back to my Couch to 5K running goal before the end of the year.
 
***
I haven't forgotten about swimming lessons.  Right now I do not have a bathing suit that fits.  It's just a matter of purchasing a bathing suit and signing up for lessons.  I'm working on the nerve and will probably sign up when I return from my last trip at the end of October.

Patience

The Universe has really been offering me lessons of patience.  Sometimes I think, Ha! After the last 10 years, you still have some lessons on patience for me.  I think I've passed that course with flying colors!

Think again.

Anyhow, just when I think my knee is all better and I can start jogging again, it acts up.  I'm glad I get these little reminders outside of the gym.  I was just walking and felt a slight pang.  It's probably time for another adjustment.

Things are wonderful.  My workouts have been great. I've been focusing on building my cardio endurance.  I also decided to start hitting the weights on a regular basis. My food plan has been tight. I cannot believe I haven't had any sweets or potato chips in 300 days.  I'm amazed! 

Oh, one thing I am working up the nerve to do is sign up for swimming lessons. I need to add it to my fitness bucket list. One of my fitness pals is burning mad calories in the pool.  Another friend on Twitter recently conquered her fear of swimming in a lake.  Both have been so inspiring.  Okay, so, I've put it out there.  Thank you, Universe. I see swimming pool laps in my future......

I'm Back!

The last few weeks have been difficult.  I had a little health scare but I am feeling much better.  I sat in the patient room last week waiting for my test results near tears.  I was very frustrated.  I had a little talk with my body to please cooperate with me and I promise to do the same.  
I'm going to start over with the Couch to 5K running program. 

Overeaters Anonymous

I have been reading a bit about compulsive eating and I think I do have some of the symptoms. This occurs when I’m stressed. I know it’s a coping mechanism. When it does occur, I do not overeat as much as choose to have sugar or junk food in place of a healthy meal. Instead of having breakfast, I’ll have cookies or a piece of cake. What happened on Friday really concerns me.

I can answer “yes” to at least six of the following questions*:

Do you eat when you’re not hungry?
Do you go on eating binges for no apparent reason?
Do you have feelings of guilt and remorse after overeating?
Do you give too much time and thought to food?
Do you look forward with pleasure and anticipation to the time when you can eat alone?
Do you plan these secret binges ahead of time?
Do you eat sensibly before others and make up for it alone?
Is your weight affecting the way you live your life?
Have you tried to diet for a week (or longer), only to fall short of your goal?
Do you resent others telling you to “use a little willpower” to stop overeating?
Despite evidence to the contrary, have you continued to assert that you can diet “on your own” whenever you wish?
Do you crave to eat at a definite time, day or night, other than mealtime?
Do you eat to escape from worries or trouble?
Have you ever been treated for obesity or a food-related condition?
Does your eating behavior make you or others unhappy?

The one question that raises the biggest red flag for me is number 7. Although I cannot say this has occurred recently, I have been known to do this.

I have attended meetings every day this weekend. I must say I can relate to a lot of the thoughts and feelings that were shared. If nothing else, the meetings provided the support I need during this stressful transition in my life. I plan to continue attending these meetings. There’s no way I’m going to be eating boxes of Crunch and Munch and cake every time I get upset about something!

*Source: Overeaters Anonymous web site

The World on My Plate

I started reading Women, Food, and God earlier this week. I had to read the Prologue twice. Truthfully, I found it challenging to stay open minded while reading the Prologue. Roth discusses a link between spirituality and food, how our relationship to food is an exact microcosm of our relationship to life. This was very difficult to digest. Roth says everything we believe about God is revealed in how, when, and what we eat.

All I could think of was what my relationship to food was saying about my relationship with God (or Spirit as I like to call It.) Although I consider myself a deeply spiritual person, it is not something I necessarily need (or want) to share with others. My relationship with God is very personal and very private. Hmm…so does this mean my relationship with food is very personal and very private? Okay, I understand this. However, I feel I have a very loving and healthy relationship with God; I cannot say I feel the same way about food.

Right now I’m just sitting with these ideas as I move on to see what the first chapter has to offer.

Mystery Solved--My Bladder Issues

I've spent the past two days at the Urologist's office because I'm still having trouble emptying my bladder. The cramps and spasms have subsided but the frequency and the urge to go are still strong.

So, Tuesday I go in and he tells me the next course of action is to try self-catheterization. I am not a happy camper. I'm all upset and stressed. The poor assistant is trying her best to teach me to insert this thing. Looking back, it was hilarious. At the time, I was devastated. We finally get it in and nothing happens. No urine. She scans my bladder again, the results say my bladder is full, but nothing is happening. The doctor comes in, checks and said it's in correctly. After several more tries, (and apparently the doctor had words with her) he decides it not going to work. He's baffled. He doesn't understand why my bladder is full yet not emptying. I'm told to come back tomorrow for more tests. I'm scheduled for a CT Scan, a Cystometry, and a Cystoscopy

The next day I come and have the CT Scan. The doctor comes in asking me all these questions about my hysterectomy. He then tells me the CT Scan shows something next to my bladder. All sorts of stuff starts going through my head. The night before Crystal jokes that maybe the doctor left something inside me after my surgery four years ago. Now, He going to skip the cystometry and do the cystoscopy to have a look. Bingo! There's a HUGE sac of fluid, a cyst?, next to my bladder. It's three times the size of my bladder. The doctor apologizes to his assistant. He said this is what she was seeing on the bladder scanner. Apparently he gave her a hard time yesterday. Now what?

Well, I have to have surgery. Because of my other medical issues, I need to get medical clearance from my general doctor. I have an appointment with her on Friday.

I've been through so many emotions during the past two days. I'm so relieved I finally know what's going on with my body. I'm looking at the bright side that it could have been worst. I'm glad it's not cancer. Yet, I have to do honest that I'm very disappointed. I've been working so hard on my health and fitness goals. I feel that this is a real setback. Right now I just need to acknowledge these feelings and then move on. I talked to my trainer about it. I don't want to lose all the progress I made. I know how hard it was to start walking even. My goal was to start jogging by the end of this year. Plus, I'm long overdue to start training for the stairclimbing event in April. I'm also concerned about my other health goals. Having diabetes and having surgery is tricky. I'm healthier than last time so I'm confident I will heal a lot quicker. I made an appointment to talk to my Endocrinologist . I realize I'm jumping so far ahead. I need to stay in this present moment and deal with what is going on right now.

So, my focus is going to switch for a while. I also need to begin preparing myself for surgery physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Gains, Losses, and Phone Calls

This week my trainer announced it's time to take a different approach with my training. She feels I've done well building strength and now wants to take things to a different level. Instead of increasing weight, we're going to decrease the weight and increase the repetitions. The goal is to increase my endurance, help build muscle, and lose fat. Boy was it challenging! It's a different type of workout because I'm working my muscles to exhaustion.

I've been taking extra trips to the gym. I've increase my usual resistance on the treadmill. Today I was able to do 25 minutes nonstop. My goal is to do 30 minutes nonstop and then continue increasing the resistance.

****

I hopped on the scale at the gym on Wednesday. No additional weight loss. I was bummed for a minute but told myself it was better than a gain.

I get in the car and give myself a silent pep talk. While putting on my seatbelt, my phone rings. It's my brother. He rarely calls during the week. He called to thank me for inspiring him to start thinking about his health. He went to the doctor for a checkup. I had no idea -- he hasn't been to a doctor in over 20 years! Men. He's 43, married with four kids. Lately he's been thinking about how his poor health would impact his family. I guess the stuff going on with my sister and her husband really hit home. I thank God his tests results were within normal ranges. His blood sugar, cholestorel, and blood pressure were on the high side, but nothing a little exercise can't resolve. He said wants to lose 15 - 20 pounds. He'll be able to do. All he has to do is stop drinking beer. Lol!

Anyhow, his phone call came at the right time for me. Just when I'm feeling a little discouraged, I find another reason to keep moving forward.

I can't wait for my sister to call me and tell me she just walked around the block.

Eating My Emotions

I’ve had a renewed interest in The Biggest Loser lately. Last night while watching the show, Rudy’s words really hit home: My sister's battle with cancer started my battle with weight... food isn't going to solve my problems, it's not the answer to my emotions. This really hit like a ton of bricks. The force was so great that I didn’t sleep well last night. When I woke up this morning, I felt like crying.

I know my mother’s battle with cancer and transition has a lot to do with my health spiraling out of control.

It rears its ugly little head – the hidden curriculum -- I learned to understand it so well during seminary-- the lesson behind the lesson. I need to admit that I am an emotional eater. For whatever reason, I do not want to admit this. To admit this means I have to deal with certain aspects of my life that I choose to ignore. If I want to be healthy, let me rephrase this, in order to be truly healthy and whole, I must stop being in denial about my emotional self. I need to practice what I preach! So, here goes:

I can almost pinpoint the time I began stuffing my emotions. Until age 12 I was a normal weight. Then, things began to change. Adolescence was very rough for me. It was rough for a number of reasons:

Reason Number 1 - I was the oldest. I resented being the oldest when I was a child. I hated the pressure. My parents drilled it into my head that I was the oldest and had to set an example for my brothers and sister. I had to be responsible, do well in school, and be the obedient kid because I was the oldest. If my brothers did something wrong, I was also in trouble. Why? Because I was the oldest and should have been watching them. I hated being a second mother and wife!

My mother went back to school when I was 13. Guess what? I was responsible for making dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For the most part, I loved it. This is where I developed my love for cooking. Then, I started resenting it because it was expected. Sometimes I wanted to come home from school and be a teenager. Then, my Dad decides he wants to study for his GED. Here I am 13 years old helping my Dad with his homework!

I will give my parents some credit. I was allowed to express my displeasure. I was allowed to say I didn’t think it was fair. It really didn’t change much. I would get the ‘you’re the oldest,’ ‘you need to help your family,’ or ‘your mother is depending on you,’ speech from my Dad.

So what did I do? I cooked and I ate. I couldn’t stay after school with my friends because I had to go home and make dinner. As long as I had to cook dinner, I might as well bake a cake for dessert. If I had to watch my brothers and make sure they did their homework, I might as well bake some cookies for a snack. After I wash the dishes, I can reward myself with a treat. I’ll just grab a handful of cookies to eat while I fold these clothes.

Well, that’s it for now. I’ll have to deal with number two at a later date.

December is MY month!

Today’s post is inspired by Healthy Loser Gal.






She’s determined to make December her month. Well, she has some competition. I’m determined to make December MY month! I started this blog in January to help myself stay focused on my Couch to 5K goal. I’m proud of my accomplishment. I learned so much about myself. I also met so many wonderful people this past year. There are so many amazing people who have made my walk inspiring and bearable. Blessings to you all!

I’m ending this year with the following mantra. To paraphrase the scriptures:

The race isn’t given to the swift or the strong but to she who endures to the end.

I’m glad I didn’t give up. I thank God I didn’t give up. I say this with the awareness that it wasn’t all me. As my mother would say, if you take one step, He’ll take two. I know I was carried along the way every now and then. Lol!

It wasn’t easy taking time for me. There were times I felt guilty, even selfish. I always feel compelled to give to others, to take care of others, to help, to serve. Truthfully, I enjoy doing it. It brings me great job to give to others. It’s my calling. I have learned that there has to be balance.


Countdown to Christmas Challenge

I am determined to lose some weight on this challenge. Lol! I’m making an effort to increase my activity and drink more water. I really do not think I can do more with food. With the medication I take, I have to make sure I eat enough or I won’t have the energy to exercise. I have been making sure I have more salads as meals to reduce calories. Move, scale, move!


Celebrate Weight Loss Forum Community

I recently joined this forum. It’s great. Normally I would just lurk on places like this. For whatever reason, I decided to step of my comfort zone and participate. It’s proving to be another good avenue to help me stay accountable.


12 Days of Christmas

Yesterday I joined the gym’s 12 Days of Christmas challenge. All you have to do is work out at least 12 days during the month of December to earn a gym t-shirt or sweat shirt. I’ll also earn points toward credit on my health care plan.

Well, here’s to great month. Cheers!

Visibility

I am feeling anxious. I ate two pieces of cake today. As a result, I just finished another exercise session. Now, I'm online reading blogs to stay on course.

I've been doing more to make my presence known in the blog world. For the most part, I'm a lurker. I've grown tired of feeling like I'm on the outside looking in. The only person I really interact with has been Bella. For the past couple of weeks while lurking on blogs I've been making comments. I also joined this weight loss community forum. Everyone is so friendly and supportive.

For whatever reason, this new visibility and transparency is making me anxious. My struggles with my weight and health have always been private issues. I've never shared a lot of this stuff with anyone. Since I made a commitment to myself to move out of my comfort zone, I'm going to stick with it. I enjoy interacting with people who can relate to my experience. So many of my well meaning friends either enable or sabotage.

I need to go to the store. I've been lazy about my meal planning for the past three days.

Gratefulness

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thinking about all that I am grateful for this year brings tears to my eyes. I've always been one for expressing gratitude to God and all that is for the many blessings in my life. This is different. I'm healthy, well, healthier.

I am at a loss for the words to express how happy I am to be where I am. I am in a space where I feel, for the first time, I can have all my heart's desire. It's no longer a concept, it's reality. Each step I take, each breath I take, each heart beat I take, each drop of sweat reminds me of the gratitude I feel (literally) for being here. I had been sick and tired for so long. Now, I am alive and enjoying life more abundantly.

This year has been amazing. I am so proud of myself for getting off the sofa and making my dreams come true. I am so grateful for the courage to turn my life around. I am grateful for another chance. I thank God for grace and mercy.

I'll end with the lyrics to "Grateful" by Hezekiah Walker:

I am grateful for the things that You have done
I am grateful for the victories we've won
I could go on and on about your works
Because I'm grateful, grateful so grateful just to praise You Lord
Flowing from my heart are the issues of my heart, is gratefulness

Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful, grateful, grateful
Gratefulness is flowing from my heart

Flowing from my heart
Are the issues of my heart,
is gratefulness